Amman got humps, possibly lady lumps

Amman is built on seven hills (or thirteen, thanks to refugee expansion due to the war in Iraq. Thank your family for me, Neda). Although I have been outside the midwest and experienced that thing the rest of the world knows as "elevation," living in a hilly, third-world city has already taken its toll on me in the form of two rolled ankles. DUHHHHH!

The program has been relatively structured so far, and aside from the resident director telling me I'm going to be in "special housing" (she insinuated a basement apartment with a little window and some kind of crushing motion), everything has been entertaining and educational. Edu-tational. So, basically its been pretty lame. The city tour was cool though.

Some things I've seen:

-Parts of the Dead Sea Scrolls claiming Jesus was a hermaphrodite (kidding)
-Temple of Hercules, ruined
-Roman Amphitheatre

Feed the Christian to the lions!

-Byzantine Church, ruined
-King Hussein Mosque (for the nerds: its an Umayyad Mosque with a hidden sound system behind the wood paneling and seating (or squatting?) space for 5000)
-Amman Children's Museum
-Royal Automobile Museum

The royal family will get its own post later, because they are easily the most ballin-est family in the country. How baller, do you ask? The kids had their own BMW motorcycles by age 9. And they stock-race competitively. And hold national records for cross-country racing.

Rollin wit .50's

Imagine Dale Earnhardt Sr., Travis Pastrana, Brad Pitt, and Warren Buffet as one person. That was the late King Hussein.

Random Jordanian Fact of the Day: Jordan has a secret police. They are everywhere; driving around, disguised as beggars as well as civilians. They speak PERFECT English, and apparently they stopped at least one terrorist plot last May to blow up a Catholic Church. So thanks to former Egyptian President Nasser (and indirectly, Stalin and Khrushchev) the Jordanian KGB are my friends. YAY TOTALITARIANISM!

Touchdown

Hey mom, I'm alive. The wireless internet in Jordan is...surprise! Really crappy! Although available (allegedly) on the University of Jordan's campus, the only other places its available are nice hotels and internet cafes. And only sometimes. And Skype (the program I use to phone home) is blocked on random occasions by the Jordanian internet provider because its not making them any money.

The best part of the 12 hour flight was the complimentary breakfast.

Little hash browns. F*ck yes.

The worst were the DOZENS OF SCREAMING CHILDREN, especially the two bastards behind me whom I affectionately named "Walter" and "Marcus."

Little brown Hashemites. I hate you.

When we were getting off the plane, the one on the left said, "That flight was very long. I hated it." I almost had a brain aneurysm. At least I got duty free alcohol at the airport (two HANDLES of Jameson for $20 each!). Gotta stock up for Ramadan...

Jordanians use Monopoly Money

These are hilarious. I hope the hundred dinar note is purple, cause that would be straight balla. Phat-nasty American Benjamins would get bitched out by Jordanian chedda.

I couldn't decide if "$" was appropriate, and there's no funky "D" with lines through it or anything, so I'm gonna go with JD for Jordanian Dinars. Anyway, the 10 JD bill is very blue, I believe Parker Bros. are gonna be pissed.

Test Post

I'm sitting at home in Chicago testing this nonsense out.

I had to think really hard whether or not I was going to blog while in Jordan.

Thought process:

Pros

-My parents can know I'm alive
-Everyone can see pictures without dealing with facebook
-I could actually remember everything that happened and not send out a ridiculous story email when I get back. Grisko.
-I can make fun of people at home (for everyone's amusement) and have 6000 miles between me and an ass beating

Cons

-Blogs are lame as hell



So...Turns out I would rather let everyone read my insightful postings and look at places they will never see than be cool. Whatever.