Southern Jordan, Wadi Rum

Warning: The following post may not be very funny, and probably more like a boring "MY SUMMER VACATION" Blog. Sorry in advance. Actually, its not boring, so go fuck yourself (sorry for swearing Mom).

Day 1

We took a bus to Wadi Rum (Rum Valley), and I was forced to buy $15 batteries. I was pissed.

Forget about the scenery, $15 FOR BATTERIES!!?!?!

After eating a ridiculously huge Middle Eastern lunch (complete with assaulting horseflies), we saw some lame museum and a lame video. LAME. Then I saw off in the distance...

Aw yeah. Camel time.

Most of the camels looked like a bunch of chumps, but not mine. She had a sheen to her coat and a gorgeous face. I thought she was a boy at first, so I named her "Dutch" in honor of Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in "The Predator". Then my friend Ameerah checked under the hood and it turns out she was a girl, so I named her Princess Sparkle.

What a majestic creature.

We got to ride around in the desert for a while. Camels are ornery animals, and some of them were braying and being emo pretty much all the time. They sounded like Taun-tauns in the Empire Strikes Back. And they smell like poo poo. But Princess Sparkle was awesome and I got to grab the reins and ride her on my own for about a half hour.

So after the 3-hour camel ride (three people hilariously fell off), and my own stunning realization that I am a camel whisperer (I swear they all do what I say, its unreal), we got to our Bedouin campsite.

Bedouins are nomadic hunter-herders that travel all over the deserts in the Middle East. And after meeting some of them, they are amazing people. When they aren't traveling with their camels and horses, shooting rifles (and desecrating historical sites, more on that later), hunting with falcons, and living off the desert like Rambo, they are drinking and dancing and partying. Way cooler than all the WIENER Muslims during BORING Ramadan.

We got the real deal at the campsite- bonfire, hookah, full meal, Bedouin dancing, singing, and storytelling. Then we got to go run around in the desert in the middle of the night. It was awesome. I slept in the open under the stars in the sands of the Wadi. All you losers in Champaign probably went to Firehaus for the 8000000th time and "drank so fuckin much dude!". HA! Eat my bird.