Whoa! Almost forgot...

...that this existed!

Sorry Mom, I'm not dead. It's been a busy two months. I'll have some posts up soon. Until then, here's a few pictures of what's been going on.

Went to Tel Aviv, saw that they have MEAT-ings there. What up laxbros.

Just a herd of sheep crossing where I walk to work everyday.

I exploded our oven...and was rewarded with an impromptu haircut!

My friend Al'a had a surprise birthday party! I just like the photo, really.

Guess where I went again...

The Infestation Continues

Several months ago, a small cat started hanging out near our apartment. Anael, having a soft spot for cats, decided to start letting it in our apartment and feeding it. I was opposed to this on a very basic level. However, the cat (who we affectionately named "Little F*cker") appeared to be an abandoned house cat. She was good around people, clean, and relatively polite. And, kicking her out of the apartment gave me endless pleasure.

Like Mr. Banks kicking out DJ Jazzy Jeff, but with claws.

Our landlord had already forbidden us from having a cat in the apartment, which Anael, in his typically French way, politely ignored at every turn. So, a few weeks ago, we noticed Little F*cker (or LF) began to look kinda fat. I chose to ignore the obvious, hoping that she was just a gluttonous little pig and that she didn't have a progressively larger distended belly every time I saw her...

Jeez, lay off the carbs. Maybe we should have named her Little Porker...

We knew that she was going to pop soon, and like any good animal lovers, we wanted nothing to do with it. We decided to take LF to the rich neighborhood of Amman and leave her there, hoping the food scraps would be enough to provide her new kittens with the gross, garbage sustenance they need.

People gotta eat, even Shame Dog.

Well, God has a way of laughing at your plans, because the night we were going to toss her out on the streets like the Good Lord intended, her water broke all over our floor.

Let's just say that this is what it looked like...

A few hours later, the amount of cats in our apartment had quintupled.

That means four kittens. 4 + 1 = 5

Here is our maternity ward. MORE THAN WHAT SHE DESERVES.

Please, come take one.

Absent, deadbeat dad, living off of handouts, popping out kids everywhere with no plan for the future...what a horrible mother.

"Whatever Greg." Typical F*cker.

DEAD 2 RED MARATHON

The Amman Road Runners, a Jordanian running club, has been hosting a marathon and cycling relay from the Dead Sea to the Red Sea every year for the last 12(?) years. A few weeks ago, I organized two teams of CIEE students to participate in this madness. It's 242 kilometers of mind-numbing, knee-grinding desert beauty. We began at 4:00 PM and ran through the night into the next morning, and I got to run through the desert in the middle of the night.

So. Awesome.

So every runner completed a half-marathon each (roughly). Photos by my good friend Zach Ruchman. Except the last one.

What a great action shot! I'm deceptively athletic!

For Yates. Durr.

Sunset by the Dead Sea. How's home, guys, by the way?

These were our rides. GIT ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!

This was at about 5:00 AM. Most of us were weighing the benefits of cheating vs. suicide at this point.

Team Cool Runnings: 19 Hours, 15 Minutes. 23rd Place. We earned it.

Some of the highlights included:

It was brutal.

My Jordanian Flat, Round 2

These pictures are long overdue, so I'll do a pictorial breakdown for shiggles. I've been living in a quiet, historically significant neighborhood called Jabal Weibdeh with a French teacher named Anael.

That's "Baby Angel" in Gaelic. Awwww.

I live on a hill just above the busy downtown area of Amman called Wast Al-Balad (Or Downtown Center in Arabic).

Isn't it just darling? The schools are great, and there's hardly any white people!

This is where the Friday Bazaar usually is. That is an experience in and of itself, post pending.

So, I went from this:

Messy.

To this:

What an upgrade!

The amenities are enough to make the Sultan of Brunei jealous.

Exhibit A:

Yes, that is a stereo embedded into OUR COUCH!

Exhibit B:

And a stereo embedded into my roommate's headboard! What kind of kinky harem is this?

Exhibit C:

I mean, are there even words?

Exhibit D:

Guess whose room this is?

There is one negative to this apartment though.

Call the exterminator.

I've been learning to cope.

Through thinly-veiled aggressive hatred, mostly.

And that's my place! Come and visit!

May you live in interesting times...

WARNING: Long post ahead, so I will put a lot of pictures in to remedy the boredom.

The title of this post (allegedly) comes from an ancient Chinese curse, that I may or may not be a victim of.

LO PAN!

I happen to be in the middle of a region that is under constant international scrutiny and near-constant political movement. Due to the increase in twitter hashtags and CNN coverage of Jordan and its neighbors, I think it's time for a lesson in media skepticism for the readers at home!

Apparently Brian Williams shot a report in my neighborhood the other day...

I've been getting a lot of emails and Skype calls worrying for my safety. While the sentiment is appreciated, Jordan is FINE! I won't be protecting my neighborhood with home-made weapons anytime soon.

Unlike some of my friends in Cairo had to do...

The American news networks are exaggerating the story for whatever reason. Like I have said before, King Abdullah is pretty much universally adored here. He's also fairly fond of his people, as well.

See?

In response to the increased regional tension and calls for reform, the King dismissed the Prime Minister, which American reporters took as the first of the seven seals being broken in Revelation.

OH MY GOD! JORDAN IS NEXT!

Former PM Samir Rifai had an impossible charge when he took office years ago: Cut spending, increase taxes, and balance Jordan's budget. And he tried. Prices went up as subsidies were cut, taxes increased, and several spending projects were slashed in order to battle Jordan's deficit and square their economy for the long haul.

What a jerk.

Prices in Jordan for gasoline, food, and alcohol are currently about the same as prices in Chicago. But, the average wage for Jordanians is between $300-500 a month. So, price increases dramatically effect people here.

Like this.

So, the new PM will bring back the subsidies, which the Jordanian people like (for now). Unemployment is still a hot-button issue, but with lower prices, no one will be asking for heads on stakes (for a while).

The King has also: met with the Islamist faction in Jordan to discuss election law reform, flew every Jordanian stuck in Egypt home at his own expense, and began giving out money in poor areas in Jordan.

He's like Daddy Warbucks, Richard the Lionheart, and Robin Hood all rolled into one!

Also, keep in mind: While protests are occurring in the region, they don't cross borders easily. Jordan is in a completely different situation than Egypt, Tunisia, etc. If there were protests in Canada, would anyone in the U.S. care?

Even when there ARE protests IN the U.S., no one cares.

So, for the record, short of someone lighting themself on fire, Jordan should be relatively calm for at least the next few months.

Unless Israel does something stupid.